Come Together: The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections

Nagoski’s follow-up to her popular Come as You Are returns to the realm of sex, this time exploring sexual connection in long-term relationships. Despite what society and the media might say, a good sex life has little to do with frequency, spontaneity, or what one does in bed—it rests on a simple premise: center pleasure. Using the model of an emotional floorplan, Nagoski encourages readers to examine the emotional spaces that lead to lust, as well as barriers that can cause a lack of interest in sex. Knowing which metaphorical “rooms” are next door to lust can help people find their way back to sexual desire, Nagoski argues. Later chapters focus on unlearning the lies and myths about sexuality, gender, physical appearance, and desire in favor of a new model of what “great sex” can be. Each chapter ends with a series of questions that readers can use to think through their own feelings and beliefs, ideal for journaling or conversation.