Come Together: The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections

Sex educator Nagoski (Come as You Are) shares research studies, narratives, and personal revelations to help listeners reconsider sex. Performing her own work, Nagoski deftly invites listeners to look at pleasure rather than desire when determining satisfaction with sex with a long-term partner. Nagoski’s unaffected manner and tongue-in-cheek asides will put listeners at ease as she asks them to delve into this topic, which is often considered taboo or embarrassing. Nagoski investigates harmful social contrivances about what is right, wrong, natural, or gender-appropriate, speaking against social constructs that prevent people from enjoying their own sexuality. Rather than a list of tips and tricks for keeping one’s sex life lively, this book instead explores a change in how to approach sex. Nagoski offers a somewhat inclusive approach, for instance, considering both monogamous and polyamorous relationships. Even so, she notes that few studies consider transgender people, or those with physical or health challenges, or members of other marginalized groups. While some of the information is repetitive, this is a hopeful work that discusses intimacy with thoughtfulness and unexpected wit.