Parent Yourself First: Raise Confident, Compassionate Kids by Becoming the Parent You Wish You’d Had

Licensed marriage and family therapist Kappadakunnel argues that being a great parent begins with looking within. Her book shows that examining childhood traumas that may be unresolved, unearthing one’s deepest fears and anxieties, and increasing self-compassion are all roots of growth and shadow work. She asserts that this includes facing experiences and individuals with whom one feels unsafe, but it also means identifying people (“stars”) in one’s life who make them feel seen, heard, safe, and understood, which is important for both parents and children. She recommends using what she calls the LEAN method, which means to locate safe spaces, explore patterns of behavior without judgment, become aware of one’s own triggers, and choose a new behavior or action to do. For repairing relationships, the book suggests apologizing and holding oneself accountable to a commitment to do things differently and better.