The Mother Code: My Story of Love, Loss, and the Myths That Shape Us

With her biological clock ticking, journalist Ackerman decides that she does want a child after spending most of her adult life satisfied with her non-childbearing status. This propulsive move dooms her marriage, leaving Ackerman to navigate grueling reproductive waters by herself. Over the next few years, she details the arduous work and exorbitant expense of trying to conceive when one’s eggs are older, and time is not a potential mother’s friend. She uses her Sisyphean rollercoaster journey to reflect upon societal assumptions regarding women, fertility, and the choice of motherhood, realizing that cutting-edge reproductive options have redefined what constitutes a family. To her credit, she also concedes her privilege as a white woman of means who can pursue these many reproductive options. However, she squarely blames hegemonic Western patriarchy for selling women what she views as a bill of goods: a pessimistic stereotypical vision of motherhood constrained by expectations, economics, and appallingly diminished social value.