Wedding Toasts I'll Never Give

Ushering in the arrival of the spring wedding season, two writers, both usually identified with other topics, offer their insights into what keeps the marriage machinery running. Novelist Piazza (The Knockoff) recounts the first year of her marriage to a man she knew for less than a year. With her parents' own rocky relationship as her only guide to married life, and the challenges the union faced early on owing to the revelation of a potentially devastating medical diagnosis, Piazza sets off on a worldwide odyssey in search of advice about how to be married. She seeks guidance from sources ranging from observant Jewish women in Israel to members of polygamous communities in Kenya with several stops in between (including tense discussions with chic French women). Her takeaways include timeless advice (keep talking to each other), along with updated adages (maybe it is okay to go to sleep angry, especially if you are tired). Piazza's insistence on maintaining her independence—even on the dance floor—despite having become a "wife," lends this account an uplifting tone.Calhoun's (St. Marks Is Dead) foray into the world of marital musing began with her oft-shared 2015 New York Times "Modern Love" column, "The Wedding Toast I'll Never Give," a pithy summation of the realities of marriage from the point of view of a veteran member of the institution. Calhoun, whose own marriage to a performance artist is in its second decade, expands upon her original piece in this series of graceful essays that explore the significance of marriage in a time that no longer deems marriage a necessity. Alternating between hilarious personal anecdote and sobering professional insight, this memoir conveys perhaps the simplest lesson ever given about learning to make a marriage last: just don't get divorced. Her other great contribution to the literature on marital happiness might be her explanation of why fights in cars are the worst: you cannot storm off.