The Big Lie: Motherhood, Feminism, and the Reality of the Biological Clock

Set aside the "mommy wars." This work is for the women who have been left out of the discussion until now. Selvaratnam shares her personal story and surveys the landscape for the women of her generation who delayed motherhood only to find that they couldn't have a child when they were ready. She discusses how her generation, seeking to be different from their mothers, "reap the benefits of feminism," and control their own bodies, learned that they can only do so to a degree. Fertility is still finite despite many medical advances. The book critiques feminist ideals and encourages young women to learn from the author's perceived mistakes. She advises twentysomething women to take care of their bodies and inform themselves about fertility basics. This title takes a different path to many of the same conclusions about motherhood and feminism that Jessica Valenti made in Why Have Kids?? Both argue for changes in family leave and other policies that will facilitate women making real choices rather than have decisions made for them by circumstances.