You Don’t Have To Change To Change Everything: Six Ways To Shift Your Vantage Point, Stop Striving for Happy, and Find True Well-Being

Clinical psychologist, mind-and-body coach, and author Kurland (Dancing on the Tightrope) urges readers to change their perspectives rather than themselves. She advises readers to reevaluate “the happiness problem,” which encourages one emotion and discourages others, labels some emotions as “good” and some emotions as “bad,” and in turn prevents people from processing difficult emotions and creates grief and unhappiness. She asks readers instead to strive for well-being rather than happiness. Part one provides a framework for understanding why humans react the way they do to unpleasant emotions and offers suggestions for going from “surviving” mode to “thriving” mode. Part two explores six vantage points: the anchor view, the child view, the audience view, the compassionate parent view, the mirror view, and the ocean view, with an explanation of each and short practices, questions for reflections, and meditations to help readers use each point of view to reevaluate their emotional responses.